A Shorter, Harsher Titanic

LEONARDO:

I'm glad we snuck away like this so that you could cheat on your fiance.

So am I. Even though I am engaged to him and have made a commitment to marry him, that is no reason why you and I cannot climb into the backs eat of a car and steam up the windows together. The fact that I am the heroine of the movie will no doubt help the cattle-like audience forgive me of this, though they would probably be VERY angry indeed if my fiance were to do the same thing to me.

Darn straight we would! Moo! We mean, Boo!

I agree. First, I would like to draw you, though, so of course you have to take off your clothes.

But can a movie with five minutes of continuous nudity be at all successful in say, Provo, Utah, where the audiences might not stand for that sort of thing?

I would be willing to bet that for the first three weeks the film is in release, every single showing at Wynnsong Theater in Provo will sell out.

According to Wynnsong manager Matt Palmer, that is exactly what happened.

All right, then.